When first arriving to Utah, there are two things you're bound to notice right away, especially if you've just come from a more cynical state like California. One is, Utah has some of the nicest people around, made up of about 60% Mormons with the rest of the population being a mish-mash of mostly-happy people with varying beliefs. The other is, they just might be America's worst drivers. These individuals are what my husband and I affectionately like to call, "Utards."
When I first arrived in Utah, I ended up one evening at a 7-11 station with a dead battery and happened to find a friendly man and his wife to help give me a jump start. They had to go back home and return with the jumper cables, but the gentleman was very kind, and his wife smiled and waved to me from the car. Another example is how our Utahn neighbors to the south of us said they watched our house while we were away driving our U-Haul back from California. The lady even told us that she came and sat on our doorstep so as to make the place seem occupied. Ok, is that strange, or am I just cynical?
Yes, everywhere you go in Utah, "shiny happy people" abound. There are cheerful, smiling teenagers who actually enjoy their jobs and speak to you respectfully, waiters and waitresses who sincerely want to know if you're satisfied, and perfect strangers in the gym or the grocery store who strike up a conversation with you. It's refreshing, and yet, strange. You find yourself thinking,"What do they really want?"
In a place that seems so confident and stable, still, there's something's not quite right out there on the roads. You're driving along and you see it...frequently. A car is lost in a slow Tokyo-drift or starts straddling lanes with total abandon, or a driver on the freeway is crawling along the shoulder hazard lights a'flashing to grab a conversation on their cell. You say to yourself..."Is this really happening?!" Yes, it is, and it gets worse. You find you can't drive anywhere without a spotting a Utard sleep-driving. You start to realize that California drivers are actually quite adept in their vehicular agression, while Utards are truly ignorant of their out-of-body driving. Caveat Viator!
I end this posting with a story to wed the points I made earlier. Just the other day my husband Scott noticed that the part of the fence surrounding our yard was bent out of shape near our driveway. Well, our good, honest lady neighbor across the street from us (the same who stood guard over our home months ago) confessed that their large truck rolled out of their driveway early in the morning and crashed into our fence. Need I say more? My only outlet lies in drawing silly cartoons like the one for this post to mock the madness.
Read the results of a "happiness poll" with the state of Utah topping the list!
